Lumpy's Blog

Changes are afoot.

2007-01-01T15:18:00.000+09:00

The New Year, time for change and a fresh start. Just to be a right royal pain to any of you that have a link to my site on the page, I have created a brand new blog. I was just going to overhaul this one but I wanted to keep all my pregnancy stats and things like that and in my new design there wasn't a place for it so the easier alternative was just to make a new one.

This is Me on Christmas Day. I now weigh 94.3kg again and am totally ready to shift some serious weight.

My new blog is: www.slimmingmummy.blogspot.com

please come along and join me for the rest of my journey.

The end... and the beginning

2006-12-28T22:10:00.000+09:00

I started this entry last night but with the madness in my house it just got too late and I had to save it and finish it tonight, so here goes.

Well it is finally the end of Christmas and almost the end of the year.

Christmas was very stressful in our household. Running around getting all the stuff ready for our first ever beach BBQ breakfast, leaving an hour late, getting there and only one table left right on the far side of the reserve, the wind that kept blowing the BBQ out and ending up taking an hour to cook bacon and eggs, going to feed Caitlyn and discovering that I had packed the bottles of boiled water and formula but forgetting to put teats on the bottles so Pete having to drive to the closest local deli to buy some, the temp rising to 34 and Bethany getting sunburnt.

Then on getting home, I discovered that although we had been under a shelter and Caitlyn undercover in her pram, she had gotten sunburnt too. That night she was bright red and I think in pain so at 9pm we gave her a lukewarm bath and that seemed to help a lot! I was so tired after the long day and felt so bad at her painful cries that I broke into tears and kept calling myself a terrible mother for letting both my poor girls burnt (Bethany had suncream on so there wasn't really a lot I could do there but still continued to blame myself). Come Boxing Day Caitlyn was just a little pink and by yesterday you couldn't even tell. Bethany's finally stopped hurting today. Next year, I think we may just stay home!

My poor sunburnt little bubby

And her poor sunburnt big sister (in her new high heels to match her pretty dress)

And now on to the beginning. The beginning of the new year and the beginning of a new me (again). Lately I have really had the urge to start the weightloss journey again. This has been strengthened over the last few days while out shopping to get new summer clothes and having to get size 18 (which I swore I would never wear again). However I have been a good girl and waited the 6 weeks that you are advised to after giving birth (that and the fact I am still feeling pretty drained and exhausted at times). My 6 weeks runs out on Sunday, which is also New Year's Eve, meaning I am right to start on New Year's Day, which is my New Year's resolution (is that spooky timing or what? Just shows it was meant to be!)

So come Jan 1 I will weighin, take measurements and start a fresh. Might even give this old blog a face lift (as quite a few of us seem to be lately) I will only start off slowly and gradually try to get back to where I was. I need to clean out the fridge and stock up on good stuff. Thankfully all the cakes and chippies from Christmas are now all gone.

I know that there are going to be days when I am just too tired to get some exercise and I am not going to beat myself up about it. As long as I get back to healthy eating and a little exercise every week to start, by the time Caitlyn starts to settle down with her sleeping and such, I should be in a position to build myself up.

So there you have it. The wind of change are blowing in and my blog is once again about to change. Trust me, there will be days when all I talk about is my girls, but hey, my whole world revolves around them and without them I am incomplete. And by the end of this journey they will have a happier, healthier mummy and that can only be a good thing.

If I don't update again before New Years Day, I wish all of you the best for New Years. Don't do anything I wouldn't and make sure its a safe one.

4 Sleeps to go

2006-12-21T19:00:00.000+09:00

Hi there,

Sorry for the lack of updates, just been busy, busy, busy.

Am pleased to say that all presents have now been bought. The tree is totally decorated, including lights. There are Chrissy lights in my front lounge window (I usually do the whole front of the house) and most of the food is bought.

Geez, am I pooped.

Am going through a stage with Caitlyn where she doesn't want to settle down in the late afternoon and it drags on for hours. Bethany was the same. It happens in quite a lot of babies but is supposed to stop at 12 weeks so I have about 7 1/2 weeks to go.

It is amazing to think she is now a month old. The first 2 weeks of stress seem so long ago but just like yesterday, if you know what I mean. Now, if we can just teach her to settle and sleep in her bassinette in the afternoons, it might just let me feel half normal LOL. But it just awesome to look at her now. She is smiling, cooing, laughing(with no sound, just big gummy grin) and just so alert.

Here is a pic taken of her just tonight.

And here's one taken last Sunday morning (Caitlyn is actually smiling!)

And finally, here's one of my girls taken yesterday in front of our Christmas tree. Bethany is wearing her new dress that was sent all the way from Tasmania by her Poppy for Christmas (we let her open that one when it got here Tuesday)

So now I will sign off for tonight as it is 9.15pm and Caitlyn is actually asleep and due for a feed around 11ish so I may get an hour and a half sleep before then. I will try and update again before Christmas but if I don't, I wish all of you out there in blogland the happiest of Christmases. Be merry and enjoy the time you spend with whomever you spend it with. Thank you all for bearing with me this year, eventhough my blog hasn't really been weight related (although that is due to change come Jan 1st, trust me, I am already looking in the mirror and not likeing what I am seeing and the scales have jumped 2kg in the last week!). I wish you all the love and happiness that you all deserve.

Luv yas all!!!!!!!

Almost ready

2006-12-13T22:04:00.000+09:00

Well I am almost ready for Christmas. Just have Pete's presents to go. It has been a bit hard on Bethany so far this week as I have been at the shops every morning and she is getting very bored with the whole thing. Pete went back to work on Monday so have been trying to get all the shopping done with the 3 of us and my mum and now it is just one present to go.

I am thinking about getting mum to come around either tomorrow arvo or Friday and just after Caitlyn has a feed and goes to sleep, get her to look after her and me and Bethany go somewhere just the 2 of us, like to the library, or to a park or something like that as she hasn't had a lot of 1 on 1 time with me lately. Not that I haven't tried, like on the weekend when Caitlyn was asleep we all put the tree up together and during nap times, just Bethany and I have been decorating it. We have nearly finished, but geez, a week to get the tree up is a long time. And I think the lack of me and her time is finally starting to get to her. It's just little things she has been saying and doing. I mean she loves Caitlyn with all her heart, just tonight she came over to her while I was feeding her and said "I love you Caitlyn, I'll always be here for you, I give you my heart." My mouth just dropped. I asked her where she had heard that and she said, "Nowhere, I just said it." But then earlier this afternoon when we all had to nick to the supermarket to get some bits and pieces she said "I want to stay here with daddy" and I told her we where all going and she said "I sure hope Caitlyn isn't coming". I asked her why she said that and she said she didn't know, which is what makes me think I need to be having more time with her.

I can only try.

I am feeling better within myself now, not as strung out as last week. Caitlyn seems to have settled into 3 hourly feeds but now that Pete is back at work, I am trying to do as much of the night feeds by myself as possible as he gets up at 5am every morning as it is. At the moment she is only waking twice once we go to bed so it isn't disrupting him too much and I am getting between 6-7.5 hours sleep a night, depending on her tummy. Sometimes at the 4/5am feed, she gets a bit of tummy pain which I have to help her with, and that keeps me up about 30min-1hour longer.

I still also have to post my birth story. I started it the weekend after Caitlyn was born but then went into hospital on the Tuesday and then with Christmas shopping, it seems to have got pushed to the background, so will finish it shortly.

Well, had better sign off now, she is due for a feed in 2 hours so best I head to bed and get some much needed sleep.

Tootles.

Busy week

2006-12-08T14:14:00.000+09:00

Well, so much for starting this week off better.

Monday morning I woke up with the flu, sore throat, stuffy head, migraine and runny nose. By Tuesday it had gone to my chest and thankfully I was still on my antibiotics so it seemed to lessen the severity of it.

Unfortunately, I am starting to think Caitlyn has it now. She has this little cough, but only when laying down so it's difficult to tell, and is also sneezing. Not much I can do there.

Last night we ventured to a major shopping centre to pick up my Christmas laybys, bad idea. It was a big task, we knew, but it wasn't made any easier when I went back to the car to put them away so Bethany didn't see them and locked the keys in the boot! I went back to mum and Pete crying my eyes out as Caitlyn had had her last bottle and I didn't know what we were going to do. So we rang and joined the RAC ($174 later) and after and hour and a half a guy came out and broke into the car for us. So we came home nearly 2 hours late with a very tired 4 year old, a very grumpy baby and I was totally exhausted, sick and miserable for costing us so much money for something so stupid. I dropped off Pete and the kids and took my mum home and then cried all the way back home. Let's just blame hormones, OK.

I think the only good thing to come out of last night was that I got the girls Santa photos taken. Here, have a peek.

And today we went and had their portraits done, which I am dying to see. We had one of both the girls in Christmas dress up, on of them as fairies and one of Caitlyn on her own as an angel and also surrounded in flowers. She slept through the lot and only started crying when I dressed her again and put her in the pram. But she went back to sleep almost immediately and is still asleep. In fact she is almost 40mins past her usual feeding time (she is feeding 3 hourly at the moment).

So I may sign off now and have a nice hot shower before she wakes. But knowing my luck, I'll turn the taps on and she'll wake up.

Hope everyone is well. Be back soon.

Trying to get back to normal

2006-12-03T18:45:00.000+09:00

Well I am trying to get things to settle down and back to normal now that everyone is home and hopefully well, it hasn't been the 2 weeks I had intended on having after giving birth, that's for sure!

I am almost back to normal since coming out of hospital on Thursday. Geez Tuesday was scarey. I had been complaining to my mum about my afterpains all day but on a visit to the shopping centre they just seemed to get worse and worse until they were so bad I couldn't stand up straight. We took mum home and by the time we got home I had a fever of 38.8. Shivered under a blanket until I threw up and developed a terrible migraine headache. It was after this we decided to go to the after hours GP at the hospital so Pete ran around and got Bethany's dinner and then rushed to pick up my mum to look after the girls. We got to the clinic and for the first time I can recall, there were no patients. I was taken in my the nurse and assessed, had my temp taken (now 39.9 degrees) and she said she was taking me straight through to the doctor. She took me in and told him "I think she has infected retained products". He went through the exact same questions the nurse did (he was pretty hopeless), rang the obstetric ward to find out how to have me admitted and then I was sent to the ER in a wheelchair. Once I was there I went through all the same questions again and was asked to wait but was told it wouldn't be long. About 5 mins later a nurse called me, took me straight in and within 10 mins I had an IV in my arm and all sorts of drugs pumped into me, including stuff to stop nausea, morphine, and I was told about 4 different kinds of antibiotics, which is why I made the decision then and there to take Caitlyn permanently off my breastmilk. And all I could do was cry. Was I making the right decision. I didn't want to be in hospital. I didn't want to be admitted. I didn't want to lug Pete with the burden of being thrown into looking after both girls on his own just 5 days after coming home, considering he hadn't made a bottle or changed a nappy yet. I just wanted to go home and hold my girls. I was in terrible pain but I was crying because I just wanted it all to stop and to go home.

And thats how it happened. I was eventually taken back to the maternity ward at about 2am (Pete had had to leave at 10.30 to get back and feed Caitlyn) where I went in and out of unconciousness until about 6am where I threw up again and was told I would be having surgery later that morning. I was told at 8am that it would be about 10.30 but they came and got me at 9.30 and was back in my room by 10.30. Pete, mum and the girls were waiting for me when I came back. I was told that they would probably keep me in until Friday, but that night I was told if my fever came down I would be able to go home Thursday, which is what happened.

So, there you have it. I am still on 2 different kinds of antibiotics for another week and hopefully everything is OK.

While flashing back over the last week, Bethany's concert was great. Was disappointed after her first dance as the helpers in the changeroom did not do her costume up properly and 3/4 of the way through the dance, it came undone and started to fall off. My poor little girl grabbed hold of it and tried to dance and keep it up at the same time until she was called off stage, had it done back up, ran back on and took her place and continued. I was so proud. She said to me afterwards "did you see me hold my top up, I was scared everyone would see my boobies!" Luckily her second routine was problem free.

Then Sunday we kept a promise we had made to Bethany the week before when Pete and I went and got our hair cut. It was the Friday before Caitlyn was born and she had wanted hers cut too but we told her she would have to wait until the day after the concert as she needed to wear her wig and if she got it cut it wouldn't be long enough. So we took her and I asked the hairdresser to cut it shoulder length. She made the first cut and I almost fainted. She had cut it just above her shoulders. She looked at me and must have seen the look on my face. She said "this is the length you wanted" WELL it was kind of too late to ask that question so I just politely smiled and nodded. Bethany seemed really happy with it, she hasn't had it this short since she was 18 months old (I went through all our photos to see).

I look at her now and she seems so grown up. And the last 2 weeks seems to have made her grow a little too. She does some things on her own, without even being asked, but sometimes she seems so little too, if that makes sense, and I worry that I am not giving her enough attention and if she resents having Caitlyn around. Geez, I'm crying again. I really like putting myself through hell.

And of course, with the new haircut, a new photo of the 2 girls was required.

So hopefully now things will settle down. I know with a newborn that's hard to say, but at least settle down to the way things are supposed to be with a newborn.

So expect to hear more from me again now, hopefully (Hopefully is my pet word at the moment). I have been keeping up with all your blogs, all be it a quiet reader at the moment but will be looking to get back in action.

Oh and PS I weighed myself today, 2 weeks after giving birth, I am 91.4kg.

Really being tested

2006-11-30T16:58:00.000+08:00

I tell you I am really being tested at being a parent this time around.

Not only was I having feeding problems, Sunday Caitlyn woke with conjunctivitis. Got her to the doctor on Monday, got drops for her and that finally started to clear Tuesday morning. Tuesday night, however, I was rushed to hospital with servere stomach pains and fever. Quick examination showed I had retained products from birth that had got infected. Was admited and yesterday had a D&C to clean me out and have just now been discharged from hospital.

Pete was great. He took care of both girls the whole time I was in hospital and as Caitlyn was already on formula we just continued as I didn't want any of the drugs I was on to effect her and I just didn't have the energy to sit up, let alone express any milk. So now she is no longer having breast milk.

I tell you it hasn't been the best first 2 weeks of being a new mum.

This is just going to be a quick entry for today, just to let you all know what was going on with me. Lets hope things can only get better from here. Right?!?!?!?!

Here I am

2006-11-25T12:32:00.000+08:00

Yes, I am still around, just trying to settle in.

I think I may have come home a little bit too early and the baby blues hit big time Tuesday night and Thursday night but now the fog is starting to lift.

It hasn't helped that Caitlyn seems to have a problem with my breast milk. 48 straight hours of the runs (to the point of running through her nappy legs and top and out onto her bed, the floor and at one point her daddy's jeans!) and the poor little thing was awake and feeding every hour. I spoke to my visiting midwife as the only thing I had eaten in the 2 days was Weetbix, salad sandwiches and meat and salad for tea. I had been really good so couldn't understand why it was going straight through her. Spoke to hubby and decided at 4am this morning to bite the bullet and try formula (I know, some people won't be happy with me!). Now after a feed a 4am, a feed at 7am and a feed at 10.45am, she has settled down so well and is sleeping at least 2 & 1/2 hours before stirring and hasn't had a poo since 4am but has had 3 good wet nappies.

Am expressing to keep my milk going and will still look at giving her half formula feeds and half breastmilk and see how that effects her. Want to keep the good stuff going as long as possible and if that means express, freezing or whatever I will do it but is amazing to see the difference just 3 feeds makes.

Now must dash off, it is Bethany's end of year dance concert in 2 hours and must get there and get her ready. Hope she does OK.

Will leave you with another 2 pics.

Oh and have spent this morning catching up with all your blogs so I am still in contact, eventhough I am not saying a lot.

Some quick pics

2006-11-21T19:55:00.000+08:00

Hi guys

We are now home and about to start trying to settle in. I have a couple of quick pics for you, the first of Caitlyn, not the best pic, expect a better one to follow, one of Pete me and bub taken about half an hour after being delivered and the next couple of Bethany and her new sister.

Just a quick update tonight, am feeling very tired now, a bit overwhelmed and am starting to feel like the third day hormones are hitting hard so will log off and aim to settle in for the night.

Another quick update

2006-11-20T19:19:00.000+08:00

Hi again

Have tried to email a photo of bubby from my mobile phone but it hasn't worked so will post one tomorrow as I am going home after lunch.

Oh and just for everyone's info, bubby is now... Caitlyn Pamela Longden

This name took a lot of debating, spell changing and compromise but we think it suits her perfectly. You'll see when I post the pics.

Catch you all later.

Hi... it's me

2006-11-19T10:45:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone, its me updating from a internet thingy in hospital.

Well got to hospital at 10.30pm last night, was checked at 10.45 and told I was 7cm dialated. Midwife broke my waters and sent me to labour ward. At 11.15 was told I could push and at midnight on the dot our new daughter was born. We were asked if we wanted 1 minute to midnight or 1 minute after and we took 1 minute after so she was the first baby born for the day.

She was 54cm long and weighed 8pound 2onces. As yet hubby and I are still to decide a name but will let you know as soon as we do.

Well this is just a quicky to let you all know that she is finally here, officially 5 days late.

Love you all, must go, legs are starting to shake.

Bye

Latest News from Lil Sis

2006-11-18T22:17:00.000+08:00

Hey Everyone, its Kelly here Kim's little sis, just letting you all know she's just left for hospital. Pains are about 3-5 minutes apart so things are going really well.

I'm at home with Beth so if your on i'll be keeping you updated as soon as i know any news.

So excited right now. Kim is too. I'm surprised Beth's asleep haha.

Be in touch soon :)

Maybe....again?

2006-11-18T19:13:00.000+08:00

I don't want to keep going on if I'm wrong but I did promise to keep you all updated.

Today at 12.58pm I actually started getting contractions. They were coming every 7mins and lasting about 45 seconds. It happened for about an hour and then I went to the loo and I have also had a show. So I rang the hospital and they told me I was in the early stages of labour and to stay home until either my waters break or until they contractions get shorter or the pain becomes unbearable. I called my mum to let her know so she could be on standby.

So I kept active and busy, getting things ready for Bethany for tomorrow for her dress rehersal and things like that and then things slowed down totally. I was only getting 2 or 3 contractions an hour. In fact I even managed a quick 20min power nap at one stage. Once I woke up Pete had a nap too.

At about 5.30 I rang mum to let her know things had slowed and to drop her alert status. Since that call until now, I am back to regular 7min contractions again and they are getting stronger and really hurting through my back now too.

And here I am now, actually I am having another one right now, hold on, back again, so hopefully by tomorrow sometime I might finally meet our little bub.

Everyone send me your positive thoughts that this is finally it.

Disappointment!!!

2006-11-16T07:22:00.000+08:00

Well sorry to have got peoples hopes up but it looks like last night was a false alarm. Pains continued off and on and I finally went to bed around midnight. Was so tired feel straight asleep. Got up every hour or so for the loo and have woken up this morning with nothing to show for the whole thing except a really sore back. All tummy pains have gone!

So it's back to waiting again! I was so excited yesterday, thinking that maybe today would be the day and now it's like "so when?" Even when Bethany woke up this morning the first thing she asked me was "have you been into labour yet?"

So now you all know that I am still sitting here, heavily pregnant and annoyed.

Maybe....Maybe not?

2006-11-15T20:41:00.000+08:00

Just a quick note to let you all know that about 3 and a half hours ago I started getting some serious pains. They are not regular at all so they could well be my first real Braxton Hicks but man some of them have hurt and I have had to walk around until they stop.

So just letting you know that something is changing, whether anything comes of it or not is another question. Will let you all know tomorrow if anything happens.

Wish me luck.

Officially overdue

2006-11-15T06:55:00.000+08:00

Well now I am officially 6 hours and 56 mins overdue! I thought I would wait until my visit with the midwife yesterday before updating and then got so busy last night that I forgot, sorry if I panicked anyone.

Yesterdays visit was a waste of time. She did the same old checks and told me if I don't have bubs before next Tuesday I come back and then they make my appointment for induction, maybe 1-2 days later.

So on the good side, I should have bubs by the end of next week. The bad side, next Saturday 25th is Bethany's dance recital. If I don't have bubs till Thursday, I'm gonna have to try to get out of hospital by Saturday morning.

I told the midwife this and she was really nice, one of the nicest I have had this whole time. We went through some natural ways of trying to get things started (sex, curry, walking) and I mentioned raspberry leaf and she said to definately give that a go. Then she said she would recommend me to come back on Friday instead of Tuesday and that way they could book me in on Monday or Tuesday and I would be out in time. Unfortunately as this appointment is with a GP not a midwife, the receptionist refused to do it, saying that no doctor would see me or do anything until I was 41 weeks, not 40weeks 3days. So I am going to ring up Friday and make my appointment for Monday, sure 1 day early won't hurt, then maybe I can be booked in for Wednesday and that would be better.

But then again, hopefully it all happens naturally before then anyhow. I went and bought some raspberry leaf tablets and I have to take 2 pills, 2 times a day. I took my first lot last night and believe it or not have had little cramping pains since 3.30am so maybe it IS doing something. I mean for something to happen after just 2 pills is plain ridiculous, but maybe after today and tomorrow, you never know.

So there you go, that's my progress at this stage. If anything does change I will let you know and if I can't get to a computer first, I'll leave my details with my sister and get her to update for me.

Fingers crossed something happens soon.

2 days to go.... lets hope

2006-11-12T21:06:00.000+08:00

Well that's to my expected due date anyhow. Am trying to take it as easy as possible but it is very hard to stay comfy after a whole 10mins of sitting or laying.

Bethany was quite annoyed yesterday morning when she woke up as I hadn't had the baby. She said "I was wrong, the baby didn't come last night". LOL

I actually had some photos taken today, as close to my due date as possible. I only ever had one taken when I was pregnant with Bethany, at about 32 weeks. At least this time I have had photos taken at 2 different stages. I saw them after mum took them and was horrified at how big I look (I have only put on about 19kg) but I will post them anyhow.

Everyone hold your breath now and prepare to gasp.....

And one of the excited sister to be.....

So that's my update for today. Am off to have a nice hot shower and try and get drowzy (yeah right!).

Still pottering on

2006-11-10T20:22:00.000+08:00

Unfortunately I am still around. Yesterday I felt like it may have been the day as I had a lot of pressure and pain around my pelvis and just walking Bethany from the car to her classroom was a task. To try and help things along and even went and did the grocery shopping but alas, nothing helped.

Have been wearing my brace 75% of the time and it seems to be helping. Am not getting the nerve pain down the back of my right leg anymore. I didn't wear the brace at all this morning and it started up again at lunchtime so I put it on immediately and it went away so it must be doing something.

If this pregnancy is anything like my last one, then I am scheduled to go into labour during tonight or the early hours of tomorrow morning (I started at 3.30am with Bethany, 3 days before she was due) but this pregnancy has been so different to hers that I highly doubt it.

In fact I have been reading all the blogs on the Babes in Blogland site and quite a lot of women are having their babies early or exactly on their due date so I am starting to think I must be the one to go overdue.

Bethany is even now starting to get impatient about it all. Especially today. She keeps saying that it has to come tonight and even told the checkout lady in the supermarket that it has to come tonight. She is so excited about it. We have installed the baby seat next to her booster seat and the first thing she said is "If the baby gets hungry can I feed her" (she's still adament its a girl!)

So that's about the latest with me. If my waters break or contractions start I'll do a quick update to let you all know. Fingers crossed (she says while rolling on the floor with laughter knowing full well that she will still be up the duff tomorrow)

Catch you all shortly

What a waste of time!

2006-11-08T08:12:00.000+08:00

Well so much for physio! Got a phone call Monday morning, 20 mins before my appointment, telling me the physio I was booked in to see had called in sick and my appoinment was cancelled. I explained that I was in a lot of pain and my husband had even taken time off work to take me. They called me back 5 mins later and said that they had worked some things around and to still come up.

Got to the hospital, was taken in to a general like ward with about 8 beds with curtains around them, kind of looked like a mini emergency ward. A lady came in, asked me questions about my pain, got me to do some leg lifts to see how far I could raise my legs before the pain set in, got me to stand and bend over, told me to lay down and went and got me a heat pack.

When she came back she spoke to me and told me about 2 exercises I could do at home on my hands and knees to ease the pain a little, gave me a pregnancy support belt and then told me to just keep what I have already been doing by using hot showers and panadol for pain relief and to sleep on my side with a pillow between my knees. Thats it, goodbye, have a nice day!

I was there for a whole 15 mins. It was like they had just got an assistant to one of the physios to deal with me because, as she said to me, I only had 8 days to go anyhow.

So here I am, still in pain and just grinning and bearing it. Am doing very little around the house, which is helping my back, but geez it looks like a pigsty. I so want to get the vaccum out but just moving it into the room hurts, let alone actually using it.

Bubs is really active at the moment, especially at night. As soon as I go to bed it starts rolling and kicking and stretching, no joke for hours. The last three nights I have had to get back up and have not got to sleep until 2am, 1am and 1am again last night. I am soooo tired. My mum says that maybe it is trying to get into position.

So that's my whinge for today. I am sorry it is not more of a happy, positive post, but that requires energy and at 8.15am after just 6 hours sleep I am still to find some. Hopefully tonight will be a better night and tomorrow will be a better day.

Very sore, but still going

2006-11-05T21:58:00.000+08:00

I know I said I would do daily updates for you all but am having some serious back issues that make sitting, standing and walking, even for short periods very painful. After visiting the midwife on Friday, was told that everything was fine babywise but she was concerned about the increase in pain I was getting in my back and hips, especially with my right leg giving way at times. I told her that I have been mentioning it at every appointment but nothing was done, so she sent through an urgent referral to the physio and I have an appointment at 11am tomorrow.

Which I think now is a really good thing, consider the last 2 hours have been horrible. I used to just get the pains when I was standing, but now it is even hitting me when I am sitting and in the last half hour I have started getting it in my left leg as well. My mum thinks it might be increasing because the baby is moving further down and pushing on my nerves, which if it is the case, is a good thing but geez it hurts.

I am really eager to meet this little one, especially after seeing the pics of Karen and Carla's little bubs. They are so beautiful guys, you've done well.

Well that's about it for tonight, really must go and lay down. Will update tomorrow after my physio appointment and let you know how things go.

Just a quicky

2006-11-01T08:03:00.000+08:00

Just a quicky update for now as I didn't do one yesterday as promised.

Was flat out yesterday, shopping, getting Bethany ready for her school photo, taking her to school, picking her up, more shopping, cooking dinner, dealing with trick or treaters (geez had heaps this year, about 20. Never had any before, glad I bought a cheap bag of lollipops), shower, then bed.

But then laid awake for over an hour so got up again. Have had real annoying tummy and back pains over the last couple of days (actually thought I was going to go into labour Sunday night) but it must just be my body starting to get things ready. Anyhoo, was up til half past midnight and decided to try again. Went to bed, took another half hour to at least get to sleep but was then awake probably every half hour, 45mins because the pains kept waking me up. And then Pete was up at 5am to get ready for work and Bethany at 7am, so woke up feeling very grumpy indeed.

And now it is 8am with the rest of the day ahead of me and me just wanting to go back to bed! It's going to be an interesting day.

The last fortnight...

2006-10-30T08:07:00.000+08:00

Sorry everyone, I am still here and I am still pregnant. I have been keeping up with all of your blogs eventhough I haven’t updated mine and a big congrats to Carla on the birth of her beautiful baby Olivia.

Have had a full on last couple of weeks. There’s been more family drama, but it looks like it’s finally come to an end now so that’s good. Am also trying to get everything done before bubs comes. I have four weeks til Bethany’s concert and costumes to make in time for the dress rehearsal in 3 weeks, plus get her shoes and all accessories organised. Unfortunately brand new sewing machine blew up and on returning it to Kmart was told because they are on special this week in the catalogue there wasn’t a machine available in the whole state and I would have to wait 7-10 days to get one from the Eastern States or get a refund. So got my money back and had to run round like a mad woman trying to find another one for around the same price.

Also trying to get everything sorted at home so there is absolutely nothing to worry about.
Nesting hit with a full force last Sunday and have been cleaning none stop ever since although today I finally said enough is enough and just concentrated on costumes and finishing the curtains for bubs room. Happy to say that I finished them both this afternoon.

So I feel totally exhausted, sore and am really starting now to look forward to bubs arrival. Have had a few comments in the last couple of days about how I have “popped” and am starting to drop, so hopefully that’s a good sign. Have my next midwife appointment on Friday so will see then how things are going. Am getting lots of pressure, pelvic pains, twinges and other things that may be too much info for some, so won’t go there!

Well now at least you all know everything is OK. Will now attempt to update on a daily basis, even if it is just one sentence, just to let you all know how things are going. Now that Carla has had her little girl, it is down to Karen and me now. How exciting!

The countdown is on

2006-10-16T17:37:00.000+08:00

Well I am now officially out of the 30's (28 days to go) and it's all starting to seem real.

I am now 36 weeks and my weighin this morning (haven't reported it in a while as it was starting to climb) is 96.9kg. That means a 16.9kg gain in 36 weeks or roughly a 470g a week. Can't argue with that although there is still 4 weeks to go.

Picked up another bargain on Ebay yesterday. I really wanted a motorised swing for bubs as Bethany had terrible colic in the first 12 weeks and constantly wanted to be held and rocked. I had a brand new basic one on layby for $115 but really thought it was a bit much as all it did was rock and had some toys hanging down.

Well yesterday I won this one.

It has 8 speeds, music, lights, toys the baby can pull on to make the music go off itself and I got it for $41. BARGIN!!!!! I have seen this one in the shops for $175 brand new, $95 in our local 2nd hand paper and one sold on Ebay last week for $96. Was quite happy with myself. Picked it up this arvo and tried it out when I got home, but of course had to have one of Bethany's bubbys (dolls) in it. She loved it and when I turned it off she kept sitting there rocking her doll.

Now I just need a chest of drawers to put all bubs clothes in. But have that sorted too. Am getting a white 5 drawer chest for $50 on Friday from Pete's parents who have one that they don't need anymore. So come Friday night, should finally have baby's room ready for use. As long as I get my butt into gear and finish hemming the curtains.

Finally got Bethany's first dance costume on Saturday (it is 6 weeks to her end of year concert). They are running a bit behind this year as by this time last year I had them all done. So I got home Saturday afternoon and had it finished by lunchtime Sunday. It just needs to be sequined (mum's job, I can't handsew). Apparently her other costume is even easier so I hope I get it this week. I want everything done and ready for her incase I go early or am too uncomfortable in 2 weeks to do anything else. (What am I talking about, I'm too uncomfortable now to do anything! LOL)

Well am off to have a nice hot shower now (with my ear stuffed with cottonwool, still not healed properly) and then start some dinner. Just steak and salad tonight, an easy meal that doesn't take too much effort.

Hope all is well with everyone and hope that I get some sleep tonight. Was up till 2am this morning.

Still around

2006-10-13T16:09:00.000+08:00

Yep, I am still around. Have had a few family dramas over the last couple of weeks that have required urgent attention and little time for relaxation. Nothing within my own household, but still very close to home. Things have settled down now and can now once again find time to get back to normal.

Have also had trouble over the last four days with my right ear. Started with just simply getting water in it. Now I can't hear out of it, am in constant pain and quite uncomfortable. Went to the doctors first thing this morning and discovered I have an infected ear corridor and now even my drum is becoming red. The 2 types of drops she wanted to give me weren't listed as being safe to use while pregnant so she just gave me some antibiotics that are safe.

When it doesn't rain, it pours, right?

Am feeling very tired lately. I look around the house, see so much I really should be doing and just can't find the energy to do it. Bubs is still quite active, which is very reassuring. You read that at this stage movements can become very limited so I am loving every one I feel, even if they hurt.

Well really must get dinner organised or it will be another late meal again tonight. And I really don't want that because the heartburn it causes is a killer.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Go the Eagles!

2006-09-30T16:37:00.000+08:00

Firstly a big YAY to the West Coast Eagles for winning todays AFL grand final. I have barracked for this team since they started 20 years ago. Woo Hoo! Although I did say to Pete that I was glad that I wasn't closer to my due date as the stress of the game would have been enough to put me into labour! I mean to win by only 1 point in the end was painful!

Next, I should now be up and running properly with my updates. We have now switched to broadband. We had a few hiccups with our provider taking nearly a week to contact us to do the settings with us to use it, so once again were without the internet, hence the absence, but am now all systems go.

On the baby front, geez I'm uncomfortable. My best times are mornings til about 11am. Then I start to feel sore, and even nauseus (I think that's caused by my iron tablets). Although I have been told by several different people this week that I have dropped, so things are starting to get exciting. I can't believe I have just over 6 weeks to go!

One of my sister's friends had her first baby last Wednesday. She was told she was having a girl at her scan but her aunty (who is supposedly claravoiant) said from the beginning that she would have a baby boy on Thursday 28/9. She ended up having a boy on Wed 27/9, so 1 out of 2 aint a bad guess I suppose. But it just shows that those scans can never be 100%, so who knows what I might be having, considering they weren't even sure about me!

Well just a quicky for today to let you all know that I am still plodding along but on the technical front, finally organised. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Silenced, No longer!!!!!!!!

2006-09-18T16:46:00.000+08:00

At last, I'm back. Sorry for the silence but our computer finally gave up the ghost 2 weeks ago and we have had to go out and buy and brand spanking new one, and of course, had to wait for the money to do just that.

But as of last night, am back up and running. I have a lot of stuff to catch up on, starting with everyones journals. Am doing that at the same time as typing this so I can mention anything, have just read yours Paulene (LOL).

Well, am 32 weeks tomorrow and now 94.8kg. Am getting a lot of final pregnancy complaints, sore back, insomnia, sore tummy, uncomfortable, the usual really. Last Saturday night had a bit of a fright with a weird pain in my leg. It wasn’t a cramp. It started at my ankle and over the course of 5 minutes progressed up to the back of my knee cap. We ended up having to rub my leg for 15 minutes to make it stop. Pete wanted to take me to hospital because he thought it was a blood clot. Will mention it at my midwife checkup tomorrow and see what she thinks.

Speaking of hospital, Pete got me to sit down with Bethany last night and warn her what might happen when the baby comes. She won’t be coming with us incase I have another difficult delivery, my sister will be looking after her. So I told her there was about 55 sleeps til the baby comes and explained what would happen. She was fine with everything I told her. Then she had her bath and went to bed. After about 20mins I heard her still awake and went to ask her what was wrong and she said “I’m waiting for Aunty Kelly to come.” I reminded her that I said it wouldn’t be for about 55 sleeps so then she went of to sleep. She really can’t wait.

Well, that’s about it for now. I know I haven’t updated for ages but I don’t want to bore you all with stuff that’s, well, boring but at least now I can go back to regular updates again. We are also getting set up with broadband over the next couple of weeks. Just in time for baby.

As I sign up, I am happy to report that I have caught up with all your journals, even though I haven’t left comments but now I can take the time over the next few days to catch up with you all personally.

Have a good week everyone.

Quick catchup

2006-08-28T11:14:00.000+08:00

Just a quick catchup today as I have been flat out again and need to leave in 20mins to take Bethany to school.

Am 29 weeks tomorrow and am up to 93.1kg, a total gain so far of 13.1kg, so am happy with that.

Went for my 28 week checkup last week. All seems to be fine. My diabeties screen came back normal although apparently am lacking in iron. I was told the normal levels are between 10 and 200 and my levels are 4, explains why I always feel so tired. So have been put back on iron supplements, although nearly a week later and I still feel exhausted.

Also had my fundas measured (the size of my uterus, for you New Zealanders I think Carla referred to it in her journal as her puku). I was told that it should be a centremetre for every week along you are (as with Carla, she was 29 weeks and hers measured 29cm). Well I climbed on the bed and at 28 weeks mine is measuring 31cm! The doctor said it didn't definately mean that I might go early, we'll just have to wait and see. Scarey!! Bethany also got to listen to the heartbeat for the first time so that was good.

Am still getting a lot of backpain. I did actually mention it to the doctor and he told me the best thing I could do was to go for a daily 30min walk, it would help. So being a good girl, I did that the very next day and that night my back and my pelvis and my stomach hurt more than ever, so have been reluctant to go again. It wasn't like I went out and did a power walk, infact it was more of a pathetic slow waddle.

Bubs is so active now. Am getting constant hits in the ribs and pelvis. So as much as I whinge to Pete and complain about being uncomfortable, I love every hit I get, because I know everything is OK.

OMG, I have 10mins to get Bethany dress, hair done, bag backed and off to school, better run.

I have caught up on everyone elses blogs, although I haven't left any comments. Will be back to do that later.

Two weeks later......

2006-08-14T13:30:00.000+08:00

Geez, its been a long time since my last post and I really have missed it. Has been a couple of very hectic weeks for me.

It started 2 weeks ago with Bethany coming down with a very nasty virus. We had almost 4 days of fevers ranging from 38.2 to 39.9 degrees. Most of those nights also resulted in only about 4 hours sleep for all of us, 3 days of doctors vists and a very sad little girl who just kept saying over and over again "I don't like being sick Mummy". I felt so sorry for her.

She was back at school last Monday but then I spent the week playing catch up with everything that didn't get down the week before. And that brings me to today. The house still looks like a bomb hit it but I was adamant that I was doing an update today, even if it meant nobody would eat dinner until I had done it!

According to doctors I am 27 weeks tomorrow, but my dates actually have me running half a week ahead, but I go with the doctors anyway. This week I have to have my blood tests done for diabeties, so am doing that Thursday or Friday, while Bethany is at school for 3 hours as I have to sit around for an hour after drinking the sweet drink before they can take blood. Fun!

Am now starting to get things organised for my hospital bag too. Bought a 5 pack of brand new knickers to take, a new dressing gown, a pair of PJs and a new nightie to take with me. Pete keeps saying that there is plenty of time but they tell you to have your bags packed 4-6 weeks before your due date so that give me 7-9 weeks to have everything done. Seems scarey when you break it down like that.

Like, if I remember the date right, my ex-boss Tara goes in for her C-section this week. Thursday, it think it is. That means by the end of this week, she will have her baby. And it seems like so long ago that she first told me she was pregnant. So weird!

I have spent the last half hour or so catching up with all your journals again and I am glad that everything is going well for everyone at the moment.

Well, due the dramas of the last couple of weeks, there isn't really a lot to update on at all, just the fact that I spent much of a week playing nursemaid and the other week trying to get on top of things. So now you all know that everything is OK, I can sign off with a clear mind and start anew.

PS I have also updated my weight progress on the left hand side. There are 4 weeks of weights missing. I did take them but never wrote them down and have totally forgotten what the were.

Bargin anyone?

2006-07-28T18:17:00.000+08:00

Well after my disasterous run-in on Ebay, I seem to have had a little luck.

Firsty I found a lady on Ebay here in WA selling a maternity jacket(I have no jackets that currently fit and I'm freezing). I won it on Wednesday night for $25 and went to pick it up today and it's absolutely gorgeous. It is brand new and here is the picture she posted on Ebay. It looks identical to the picture and I just love it.

I have always wanted a long jacket and finally have one.

Another good thing about it is she looked at me and said I needed the size 14(made me feel good considering I am 24 weeks) and got me to try it on. It fit but I wanted a little more room around the bust so went for the size 16(she makes them in sizes 8-16).

My second bargin for the week came out of our local classified paper. I found a lady selling an 18 month old wooden change table for $50. I went to look at it and it was perfect and in great nick. I bought it straight away.

We went in to Target today and they were selling an identical one for $179 with no inlay and no security strap so was quite pleased with myself.

So now we have everything but a cot and we won't need that until about 3 months after the baby is born so we have plenty of time to scout around for another bargin. Now it's time to get the room set up and sorted. I just remembered I do need a chest of drawers for all the clothes, and a nice set of curtains but that's it. When I cleaned up the room yesterday to fit the table in, Bethany came in and said "Oh, now I think the baby will fit", she says the funniest things sometimes.

So that's been my last few days. Have started getting some serious pelvic pains over the last couple of days. It's like the baby has a hammer down there and is banging the centre of my pelvic bone, so am trying to take it as easy as possible. If it keeps up, I might have to mention it at my next appointment because coupled with my constant back pain, it is making life a bit difficult at the moment.

Well must log off now and get dinner sorted. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Back to the 90's

2006-07-25T13:34:00.000+08:00

Well, its official, I'm back in the 90's. 90.8kg to be exact but I'm happy with that. At this stage with Bethany I was 99kg and between 24 weeks and birth I only put on a further 4kg. If I could do that this time, I would be extatic but think I may put on around 8kg if I keep following my trend, which I would still be happy with.

When I had my appointment this afternoon, the midwife called me out and I thought to myself, she looks familiar. I have just come home and pulled out my old records and she it the one I saw 5 times out of my 9 visits last time and she is so nice. I hope I get her again. The way my hospital does it is that one visit is with a midwife, the next a GP, then midwife, then GP and so on. When I left today she told me as I already had my next appointment for 4 weeks time booked with the GP, to book the next one for the midwife and I would be 32 weeks. OMG!!! 32 weeks!!!

She went to listen to the heartbeat today and found it straight away but she only had the thing on there a couple of seconds and bubs decided it didn't want it there so started hitting it, and hitting it so hard that my stomach kept jumping. In the end she had to move it to another part of my stomach to get a proper heart rate, but then bubs kept moving, as if to say, keep that thing away from me. She told me I had a nice, active bub and my insides were all the right size they should be and not to worry about what size people think my tummy should be.

I got to thinking about that and realised that each time I have been told I am not really big I have been wearing a maternity top so just now I have taken a photo of myself in a normal size 16 top.

I don't know about anyone else, but I think I am showing!

I thought I was pretty good on Saturday and managed to buy one of those Tommee Tippee nappy wrapper bins on Ebay for $20 and $10 postage. That's less than half price total. Then yesterday the person in NSW sent me an email saying he had the postage wrong and wanted to charge me $30 for postage. Yeah right! So after contacting Ebay and finding out he could change the postage charge (even though that much was idiotic) I contacted the person and said I could not afford $50 and they agreed to mutally withdraw the auction. After that I contacted 2 other people in NSW who were selling the same thing and asked how much their postage fee to me over here in WA was and was told $11.50 by one and $15 by another. Knew he was ripping me off. Then last night he had relisted the item with the same postage price of $10 but had made the starting price $25 ($5 more than what I won it for). He obviously didn't get as much as he wanted for it so thought he would get the money another way by ripping me off on postage. Some people are just rude.

And that's my little vent for the day. May not have interested everyone, but geez he pissed me off!

Hope everyone out there in Cyberland is well and will catch up again soon.

Tired

2006-07-22T21:22:00.000+08:00

Well, its 9.18pm and I really feel like going to bed but thought now that I have at least a few minutes to myself, I really should update.

It has been impossible for me to get to the computer this week with my very bored daughter home from school. So Tuesday, my mum and I took her to the zoo. She loved it, although I was thoroughly exhausted when I got home. Then Thursday was the Target Christmas toy sale so spent the day in shopping centres. Yesterday took my brave little girl to have her 4 year old immunisation needles, one in each arm. I thought it best to tell her before going to the doctors. I picked up my mum, just in case we needed her. On the way she said she was a little bit scared and I said that was fine. Once in there, she was so good. She did everything she was told to, sat perfectly still, never flinched or anything. The doctor said she was one of the best she had ever had and gave her an origami flower. The doctor said that sometimes it took 2 people to hold the kids down and that most tensed up when they felt the needle getting near the arm. But Bethany just sat there, in fact her arms were so floppy and relaxed that the doctor could put them anywhere she wanted. So Proud!

Then today we went to the markets and stocked up on fruit and then went to see Pete's parents. For the second time in less than a month, I was told that I wasn't showing very much, which has got the niggling worry started again but I have a checkup on Tuesday so will make sure everything is OK then. Watched with little amusement as Pete's dad argued with Bethany over the sex of the baby (haven't told them, although it would make things easier), then as we were going Pete's mum asked if I wanted all her WW points stuff (she joined the points program twice and had all the paperwork). I grabbed it for mum and me, although Pete's dad said "she won't need it Shirley. She'll give birth to my grandson (see what I mean) and she'll go back to the way she was. She won't need any help losing weight." Talk about pressure.

Am actually pretty happy with my weight currently (for now). Weighed myself on Monday and was 89.8kg, which is only 1.4kg up on where I was 3 weeks ago and 9.5kg total for the pregnancy. In most of my pregnancy mags they state at 24 weeks that you have probably gained around 5.5kg by now, so am only 4kg more at this stage so if I can keep a handle on this, should be OK, although it is daunting knowing that probably this week I will break back into the 90's, but was expecting that about 2 weeks ago.

I also pulled out my old records from when I was pregnant with Bethany. From between 16 and 24 weeks I gained 5.3kg but so far this time I have only gained 3.7kg (which also adds to that little worrying niggle). but trust me, I can feel this baby. I feel it kick, if feel that my insides are now a lot higher and uncomforable, I feel the pain in my back and the constant breathlessness from being totally out of sorts, and I am savouring every minute of it.

Well so much for a quick post. Really must go to bed, am dead on my feet, but will be back tomorrow, Monday at the latest for another update as I have heaps more to say.

22 Weeks today

2006-07-11T14:57:00.000+08:00

I'm back!

Yes the computer is finally up and running again and touching wood working well. Will just check to see how the photo uploading is going, excuse a sec.

Perfect. This is the photo I took of my big girl on her 4th birthday the other week. Ah, where has the time gone?

Well as the title suggests, I am 22 weeks along today. Things are plodding along well I hope, my next checkup in in 2 weeks time. Am feeling lots of movement now, although on the days it is quiet, it worries me. Have been trying to get Bethany to feel the big kicks but everytime she puts her hand on my tummy, it stops. She even said the other day "it's scared of me"

She is soooo excited now. On Saturday morning, when she woke up, she came into my bedroom (I was still in bed) and asked "is the baby coming today?". When she sees babys in the shop, she gets so excited and loves her new baby cousin heaps. Here is a photo she took on June 4, when her cousin was 6 weeks old.

Last weekend, Petes dad came down and painted the baby's room. We chose a neutural colour as the baby will only be in this room for about 6 months and then this room will become my sewing room and bubs will move into the bigger bedroom. My mum thinks the colour is really pretty and bright, although the photos don't show it so well.

Its like a camel, beige colour. I am at that stage now where I just want to get the room finished and ready. My mum thinks I am nesting. Not only am I trying to do that, I am trying to keep the house constantly clean, I am trying to finish all sewing, knitting, scrapbooking and cross stitching projects I have started(all at once), I am trying to redo rooms, have gone through all of Bethany's clothes to store ones that are too small and am constantly making jelly (must say that jelly must be my major craving for this pregnancy).

So all is well here. Will now be back to regular updates and a big thankyou to all of you who have stuck with me. Must go now, have a four year old on school holidays who is demanding my attention.

Catch you all later

Here I am

2006-06-27T09:30:00.001+08:00

Well I think we are up for a new computer. It crashed again and has taken us this long just to get an internet connection, let alone use of excel, word and email, which we are currently too scared to set up. We thought we had it fixed Sunday but it crashed after an hour (while Pete was installing everything). So yesterday he tried a different version of Windows and it stayed on for 6 hours and then crashed again while he was installing again. This morning I fiddled a bit and got just the internet working so am taking full advantage.

So from where I last left you, I managed 3 decent 30-45min walks that week and was most disappointed last Monday when I had actually gained 1.2kg for the week. Didn't do any exercise last week and yesterday discovered I lost 200g, go figure!. Spent last week trying to get the computer working, cleaning and getting Bethany's birthday sorted. We didn't have a party this year, just had family around. My little girl turned 4 on Saturday and she seems so grown up now. Have just tried to upload photos but it seems my computer doesn't want me to, so will do so as soon as I can.

Last Friday while drifting off to sleep I finally started feeling decent kicks from bubs. So hard I could feel them with my hand. Since them I feel them daily and it feels so good. We went for our scan yesterday and I must say I was quite upset and disappointed. We picked Bethany up early from school as we promised her she could come. When the ultrasound lady come in she said "you should have been told kids aren't allowed as I have to fully concentrate and can't be distracted". So Pete had to take her out. He was upset and angry, I could see it on his face. Bethany cried. She said she would come and get them at the end so she could quickly show them stuff. I turned my head from her and cried through the whole scan. The whole time I was in there she didn't say a word to me, didn't tell me what she was looking at or what was on the screen or anything. Then after about 20 mins she told me I could go and half empty my bladder. When I came back, Pete and Bethany were in there. She showed us the face, told us the heartrate and that all the measurements were good and bubs was growning the was it should be and then asked us if we wanted to know the sex. We said if she could tell. Just as she was about to tell us she said "hold on a sec. OK throughout the whole scan I would have said a girl as I didn't see anything but I have just seen a bulge. But there is nothing else. It is common for girls at this stage to have a bulge and because I can't see anything else, I would say its a girl".

So there you go. We're still not 100%. Again. The same thing happened with Bethany. I was determined I was having a boy as in the last month I have had 3 people I know (including Kate)have girls, Karen and Carla are both expecting girls a week before me, Nadia, who is due the day after me is expecting a girl and another lady who is due a week or so before me is expecting twin girls. So that is 8 girls. I thought there was no way I could be having one too, but we'll wait and see.

I have been around to all your journals this morning and caught up with each and every one of you, eventhough I haven't left comments, as I do not know how long this computer will keep going and just wanted to update you all, just incase I disappear again. If we do lose it again, I will try and find somewhere to go to keep in touch.

Damn technology

2006-06-13T13:46:00.000+08:00

Geez, computers hate me. Since Peter moved the reformated the computer, it only wants to work like every 5th day or something. We push start and it just won't, so today is a good day and I finally get to update.

Before I go over the last week, let me just say Good luck and lots of love to Kate who is today in labour with her second child. She is having a home birth and has managed to let us all know that the action has started. Was going to leave you a comment Kate but you have 66 already so thought you might never see it. Love ya heaps.

Speaking of today, today is a weird day. You see both Kate and myself were due today before I had my miscarriage in November. Since then I had been dreading today, but I think being 18 weeks pregnant today has helped. I now know that that baby just wasn't meant to be and am eagerly looking forward to meeting the little one I have with me now.

I finished up work on Thursday, and Paulene I did feel they way you said you did, but any extra money helps and I wasn't going to knock it back. She actually paid me an extra $50 more than she was supposed to, perhaps she was feeling guilty but I doubt it.

So starting yesterday I am in operation Clean. I am trying to get the house back the way it was before I started working 3 1/2 years ago. I did our bedroom and ensuite yesterday. Bethany's room today. Am starting on my sewing room and so forth. Once the house is back to good standards, then it is just a case of maintaining it weekly. I has actually tired me out for the last two days, but when I walk into the rooms I feel good.

I ended up doing 2 x 30 mins walks last week. This week I am aiming to improve that to 3 or 4. Went for one yesterday and was planning on going again today but the clouds carrying the rain that was forecast are starting to move in and I just hope it holds off.

Am pretty happy with my weight gain so far, I think. I have always told people that I only put on 10kg with Bethany but have found my old appointment card and discovered that it was 10kg from 16 weeks. So I don't actually know what I was at the beginning.

I am going for my next appointment on Friday. Am really looking forward to hearing the heartbeat again. Had some anxiety over the weekend. I just felt that maybe I should be feeling the baby stronger than I am as it is my second baby. The flutters are so light that I am still not sure if what I am feeling is the baby or wind or whatever. But I have read that if the baby is further back or the placenta is in the way, it can make it more difficult to feel the baby. I mean I saw it on the monitor a week and a half ago moving like mad and I couldn't feel a thing so it must be OK. It is just going to be reassuring to be checked over again.

On Friday I will also get my referal for my Anatomny scan. As I am already 18 weeks, I should be booked in within the next week or 2 to get it. It is so exciting to think that I am almost halfway there. I am going to make the appointment for a time that Bethany can come too as we have not let her come to any yet, just because of last time.

So it is all go at the moment. Am trying my hardest to also catch up on some serious scrapbooking. I have so much to do already and now with another bub on the way, and lots more future photos to come, I want to have as much done as possible.

Well that's enough for today. Hopefully the computer is over it's little huffy and will now let me use it properly.

See you all again soon.

So much to say

2006-06-06T08:14:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the lack of info over the last week. I'll start at the beginning and try to abbreviate as much as possible.

Firstly, hubby decided the computer needed reformating and totally disabled it on Monday and only got it working again at 10pm last night, hence being unable to update at home.

Secondly, I know you all know that last week was my last week of work but there was a development on Monday. I arrived Monday morning and boss' hubby came in and said, " I know that this is your last week but we are just not in a position to loose you just yet. Would it be possible for you to stay on for 2-3 weeks off the books so as not to affect your family payments?"

Said I was unsure and would have to talk about it with hubby. Boss' hubby said " Fine, Tara will talk to you about it when she comes in anyway."

Tara comes in and never says anything about it to me. Overhear phone conversation between her and her hubby to the effect of "Oh, really. Oh, did she? Oh, alright then" and an annoyed hang up follows but nothing more is said. Said to Pete that night was willing to do an extra 2 weeks to begin with but now was unsure if they still wanted me but was starting to get annoyed about it all.

Tuesday Tara says to me just as I am leaving, "Richard tells me that you want to stay on for a couple of weeks" I say "Umm, no, Richard asked me as a favour to stay on because you needed me". She says "Oh, OK, sorry, miscommunication at home." Was really annoyed with the whole situation now so turn around and tell her "Anyway I can only do next week because the week after I have a dentist appointment and a baby checkup. She says "OK, next week will be fine"

So as it was a long weeked, am now working today, tomorrow and Thursday, off the books, and am then finished. Although, I have discovered that they have hired someone but don't know if they are starting today or next week. If they start today, I won't work tomorrow.

Next subject, bubs. Was at the hospital on Thursday as I had a terrible stabbing pain in my left side and some spotting that started Wed. After 2 hours, got to hear bubs heartbeat on the doppler and then see bubs on a scan, geez what an active bub, think I've got my hands full with this one. Was told the pains were my ligaments around my uterus and the spotting was put down to something to do with my cervix. Am find in that area, it's not weak or anything. Now bear with me, it might me TMI for some but others might find it interesting, was told that when your cervix seals when you get pregnant, there are 2 layers of skin, an inside and and outside layer. They are saying that when mine sealed, a minuted piece of the inside layer was trapped on the outside. This isn't a problem, it just means that when blood flow increase to the inside layer, a minute bit is coming outside to that piece, hence the spotting. It even has this really weird name but I can't remember it.

So now I can relax about the spotting.

Finally, it was my 30th birthday on Saturday. Got some lovely presents but had a nice quiet day at home.

Oh, I also managed an walk yesterday, seeing that it was 24 degrees and beautiful. I took an old route that I used to do in about 25mins. I took it nice and easy and did it in 32. It felt so good to be out and about again. Am absolutely going again today.

Now if all is well with the computer when I get home, will pop into all of your journals and leave some imput. I haven't meant to be anti social, have just been caught up with drama.

Hope you all have a great week.

1 week to go

2006-05-25T08:40:00.000+08:00

Well I have one week of work left to go. As I drove into the carpark this morning I thought to myself "I only have to do this 4 more times".

I came in on Monday and as I was leaving spoke to my boss and gave her my 2 weeks notice. She said to me "You don't have to leave so quickly" and I replied with "Well yes I do really because no one will employ me now before the baby is born because they won't want someone who will just have to leave again in 4 months. So Pete and I check our options and I need to earn as little as possible to get maximum tax benefits in the next financial year" To which she replie with "Oh OK."

So the response to that has been; have not worked with my boss for the last 2 days. On Tuesday she just never came in, or so I thought, and nobody told me she wasn't coming in. When I came in yesterday I discovered she actually came in at lunchtime after I had left Tuesday. Then yesterday she rocked up for 5 minutes to drop off the mail and left again because it was her daughters birthday. Last year she had a birthday party for her and Bethany was invited. Yesterday she brought over a cake for Jordyn to have with all the workers during their coffee break but this year I wasn't even asked to come and watch.

Then yesterday some applications started to come through on the fax for my job. I realised it must have been advertised in the paper that day. She only received 3. The first 2 were from women with not a lot of experience who were 48 and 45. Now I know that Tara told me when I had my interview that she did not want older people as they found it hard to get along with Jordyn. And then the other application that came in after I left (I looked at it this morning) was from someone who has a fair bit of experience and is only a year older than me, but its a guy. Come to think of it she will probably like him because he can't get pregnant but wheather he would put up with Jordy is another thing.

So have no idea if she is coming in today. If she chooses one of these applicants it is possible that they could start next week if she gets the interviews done quick enough, but I have no idea what I would teach them. Yesterday was the day I come in for the full 5 hours and I spent 4 of those hours on the net or playing games. I spose I could teach the new person how to play tetris!

On the pregnancy front, I went for my first midwife appointment on Monday. It just made everything seem so real. My next appointment is on June 16 (I will be 18.5 weeks) and I will get my referal at that appointment for my next ultrasound which will be just a couple of weeks later. It's all getting a bit exciting now, although it may start to drag when I am at home everyday.

I am starting to get through the days without naps and am hoping to start getting out for a daily stroll shortly. I will have the time now to do it, with not being at work. My weight gain has started to slow down but I want to start improving my fitness again because I know I'll need to be as fit as possible come labour time.

Well will sign off now and go play some tetris. Catch up with you all shortly.

Well, well, well

2006-05-20T20:47:00.000+08:00

Firstly, a big thanks for your reassuring comments regarding the issues with work. It was actually quite funny but when all these probs started, I said to my mum and Pete that with these new IR laws I think they are trying to make me look incompentent in the busiest two weeks of the year so that the week afterwards they can get rid of me. I was told that I was being silly.

On Thursday, just before leaving I was asked for a chat. The conversation went as follows:

"Well Kim, as you know, at the beginning of the year when you asked to go from 20 hours to 17 hours it was on a trial basis to see how things would go."

"Yes I know"

"Well eventhough the work is getting done and there is very little to do now, we need you to return to the 20 hours (eventhough I spend a minimum of 2 hours a day on the net reading journals, looking at Ebay and playing games) and start working on Fridays too."

"Oh"

"We just think that even though there isn't a lot to do it is better for customer relations that if they call in the morning and call back at lunchtime that the same person is here to deal with them. We are also finding that things are getting lost... well not lost but details are getting mixed up when they get passed between 3 or 4 people instead of from you to the final person. And with Richard (her husband) now out building the new glasshouse, we need someone in here on Fridays as no-one will be in the office (as she attend playgroup with her daughter)"

"Well I don't think I can do that. I am only just getting Bethany to and from school as it is and I can't do Fridays as I can't get her there at all."

The conversation continued, including my pregnancy, and it came to either I do these hours or I leave. I was told to discuss it over the weekend with Peter and let them know on Monday.

So in 3 weeks time I will no longer have a job. My mum made me realise that now they don't have to worry about giving me maternity leave and holding my job open. And I realised today that there is no way I can get another proper part time job before giving birth as no-one will hire someone who has to leave again in just over 20 weeks. So I am screwed!

I know that with all these stress I was getting I was seriously contemplating leaving at the end of June but now it is going to be the beginning and it leaves us about 3-4 weeks short in wages so belts will have to be tightened.

I can't say now that I have a very high opinion of the both of my bosses. After everything I have done for them, including working full time while they went on holidays to the gold coast, and putting up with their nearly 3 year old daughter and her tantrums I am not very impressed.

It is for this reason I am only going to give 2 weeks notice on Monday. I was going to give 3 weeks, as I have nearly 3 weeks holidays owing and it would almost get us to the end of June and then we could get more in family payments. But then I realised that if I did that, I might end up having to train the new person before I go. If I only give 2 weeks then they won't be able to advertise my job till Wednesday at the earliest or Saturday. Then they have to wait for applications (and I remember Tara saying that they didn't get very many when I applied), do interviews, which at the earliest would be Monday or Tuesday of my last week, and then I finish 2 days later on the Thursday.

I know it is a bit spiteful but the way they have gone about it all hasn't been very nice either.

So there you have it, I knew something was up. Always listen to that little voice that says something isn't right.

Onto nicer things. I have started to feel bubs move. I wasn't sure but thought I did on Wednesday but now it is definate. My tummy has also popped out over the last 3 days. Pete and I went to the movies on Thursday night (to cheer ourselves up) and while I was standing there, mum said I was starting to show. I will take a photo soon. I only have 1 photo of me pregnant with Bethany as I was so big I had to make my own maternity clothes and they looked like tents. I was so embarrassed (even hiding behind my sister in one). But not this time. I have even just bought my first pair of maternity pants ever, size 16. They are so comfy. Still at little loose around the top but once my tummy really pops they will be perfect.

Well I am exhausted and totally ready for bed. Hope you all have a great weekend. Look after yourselves.

Flat out and frazzled!

2006-05-15T08:08:00.000+08:00

Geez! What a whirlwind of the last 3 weeks.

The last 2 weeks starting May 1 have been flat out at work as I work in a Nursery and one of the main gifts for mother's day, FLOWERS. Have been working overtime and extra hours hence not being able to get near the internet while at work and being so tired when I come home that I just didn't have the energy.

I am sorry if I worried anyone with my absence but now that things are quite (and trust me, work will now be dead until spring, September) I should be able to update everyday.

I finally bit the bullet on the 27th of April and told my boss about being pregnant (as I couldn't do overtime on the 5th of May as I was having my scan) and I must say since then, I have been getting not so nice treatment from both of them including getting blamed for mistakes that aren't my fault and even being told I have done invoices wrong but when I bring them up on the computer they are right and not even getting an apology. In fact last Thursday when this invoice issue arose, I was in tears. Pete called me for some other reason and was crying my eyes out to him. He told me if they keep it up to give my notice. It is very uncomfortable now coming to work.

I was talking to him on the weekend about when I would leave. I was going to leave at the beginning of October so I could have about 6 weeks one on one time with Bethany before bubs comes along. But since the atmosphere here has worsened, I have looked into the benefits we would get if I stopped working at the end of the financial year (June 30). If I keep working until October, when bubs comes we will get nearly $30 a fortnight less than if I stop working at the end of June. The problem is if I stop in June, we will be $50 a fortnight worse off for July, Aug and Sept but Pete reckons we could wear that.

So now I am waiting to see if things come up with my boss now that the busy time is finished. You see she is leaving at the end of Aug to have her bub so they will have to get someone in to take over from her (they wanted me to do it but had already told them before getting pregnant that I couldn't) and then someone to take over from me if I stay until October.

OK that's enough work talk, am getting a majore headache already.

Well as I mentioned we went for my scan on Friday May 5. As soon as the technicain put the scanner on my tummy I saw bubs, the heartbeat and started crying. I felt so relieved just to know that bubs was still holding on. He took measurements and showed us its legs, crossed in front. We saw both arms as to begin with bubs was waving. Then it started jumping like it had the hiccups. Then it started sucking its thumb and fell asleep. It was totally awesome. He even zoomed in on its head so we could clearly see it sucking.

We didn't take Bethany to this one, just in case. I made the appointment for while she was at school. But when I go for my 20 week scan we are going to take her.

Am still feeling really tired. My nausea has changed. I still feel weired during the day and have aweful tastes in my mouth but now the actual morning sickness doesn't really hit until 6pm at night! This is making dinner time quite terrible and the rest of the night just aweful. Hopefully, now that the nausea is later, the next stage may be to disappear altogether. One can only keep their fingers crossed.

Geez, I think I have written enough to start a book. That's all for today but promise to be back on top of things now that I have the time. Thanks to all for sticking with me.

Long time, no post

2006-04-23T15:34:00.000+08:00

I am so sorry for the absence. I didn't mean to worry anyone but my nausea has gotten so bad that I am throwing up, even with the wrist bands, I am constantly breathless and dizzy, have no energy and even after 9.5hours sleep (eventhough it is broken with toilet breaks) have to sleep during the day or I have trouble making it to 6pm.

I have been checking up on all of you though, while I am at work, my brain just hasn't been coherent enough to even attempt a post.

I know all this is good and at the moment I am telling myself "5 weeks to go and the nausea should be gone" as when I was pregnant with Bethany it stopped at 16weeks. Knowing my luck though I will have it for the whole pregnancy.

We have now told Bethany that there is a bubby in mummy's tummy. She immediately said "I hope its a sister" which is quite funny because when I was pregnant last time she wanted it to be a boy. Maybe she knows something I don't LOL. I have told her it could be a boy but she keeps saying she wants a girl and even today when she was going for a nap, she touched my tummy and said "there's the baby. When she comes out I won't be mean to her. I don't know what that was about but the fact the she refers to it as a her makes me laugh.

I have chickened around and still not told work yet. Everytime I think I will tell them before I go home, something happens that puts one of them in a bad mood or their daughter Jordyn is playing up or something and I just leave. I will have to tell them soon though because I discovered the other night that I am starting to show more than I thought I was. That and the fact I can't keep covering up how bad I feel with the flu. I have never known anyone that has had the flu for 3 or so weeks.

So there you go, am still here, am still ok (well sort of LOL), and am still catching up on all your journals everyday, even if mine is sadly lacking. Will make a wholehearted effort to keep in touch better than I have been.

Nervous Day

2006-04-12T08:18:00.000+08:00

Well today is a pretty nervous day for me. I am 9 weeks and 1 day. The exact stage I lost my angel in November. I know it doesn't pay to dwell on what we can't prevent, but it sits in the back of my mind and pops up at the most annoying moments.

Still feeling rather sick. It is amazing how quick I can get ill once I take these wristbands off. On Sunday I took them off to have a shower in the morning and almost passed out while in there. I ended up collapsing on the bed(put the wristbands back on), unable to move for near 2 hours.

Still not quite able to sum up the energy to start walking again, but hope to soon. I really miss it.

I have 3 weeks and 2 days until my next scan. It is quite scarey just waiting. I haven't been seen by a doctor or had any tests of any kind in 3 weeks and it just like waiting in limbo to see if everything is OK. I swear it's enough to drive the sainest person batty!!!

Well just a quickie today to let you all know that everything is still OK and I am still around. A big Hi to Nadia. Thanks for your comment and hope to continue to keep in touch.

It's all good

2006-04-05T08:36:00.000+08:00

Yes, I am still around. I have been really, REALLY ill with morning sickness over the last week. It grew so bad that Monday I couldn't go to work and found it really hard just to stand. Did my first run to the loo for that all anticipated throw up and then collapsed while mum looked after Bethany.

So once Pete came home I went to the chemist to get some accupressure wristbands that I had read about in one of my pregnancy magazines.

They have like a plastic ball that sits on your pressure points on the inside of your wrist to stop nausea. I put them straight on and within about half hour felt 100% better. I managed to go home, cook dinner and do some cleaning.

Yesterday I put them on before I got out of bed and wore them all day. I didn't feel sick once, just hungry. I took them off early yesterday evening and felt ill within an hour. I can't believe what a difference they make. And if you do start to feel ill, you just push the balls a little to increase the pressure and it makes it go away.

I said to mum that if they keep working so well, I might be able to start walking again. How good would that be?

Unfortunately, they don't get rid of needing to pee, yucky tastes in my mouth, dizziness, tiredness, certain smell adversions and everything else I am feeling. But hey if they could do all that, they would be a miracle.

Weightwise, I was reading in my magazine last night (told you I read too much) about your weekly progress while pregnant. I says "at about 12 weeks that you may have gain 1.7kg by now". Well I am 8 weeks and am now 83.4kg, a total gain of 3.1kg. Not good. But if I can start walking again, it may just slow the increase.

Last Sunday was the day of my annual 5kg walk around the river for charity. It is the first time in 3 years I haven't done it and quite missed it. But ce la vi, I can do it next year.

Well that's enough dribble from me. Just letting you all know that now that I am starting to feel better (touch wood) I will try to improve my updating and get in touch with you all again. I haven't even had the energy to turn the computer on, let alone sitting upright and reading so am trying to catch up with all your journals over the next couple of days.

Here I am

2006-03-28T08:03:00.000+08:00

If I have worried anybody because I haven't updated earlier, I am very sorry. I have just had to take some time to get my head around things.

As I mentioned in my last update, I had been to the hospital because of some small spotting of sorts. I was told my hcg levels were more than 10000 but they wouldn't tell me what they were exactly. This worried me because at 6 weeks your levels should be between 1080-56500 and I wanted to know if I was at the low end or the high end.

Then Friday I went for my scan. The woman found bubs and the heartbeat but couldn't measure the length properly because she could find the ends. The one measurement she did take had bubs at 6 weeks and 3 days, which is what I was. She also managed one heartrate scan and this was 122bpm.

So I went home feeling less than satisfied and still worried because I had read that at 6 weeks the heartrate should be around 150bpm.

So spent the weekend totally worried. Finally Sunday I sat myself down and gave myself a lecture. I was just making myself worse. I had to stop taking things I read as gospel, every pregnancy is different. I made an appointment to see my doctor yesterday. Yesterday I rang the hospital I went to, told them I was seeing my doctors and needed my exact hcg levels. The result: 50200. GEEZ, thats a big difference to 10000. Why didn't they just write that to begin with. I also found before my appointment, on the website that has the hcg levels, that heartrate for a 6 week old can be between 120bpm and 180bpm, depending on when exactly the heart started beating. I also found Bethanys scan at 6 weeks and her heart rate: 115bpm.

So I had worried for nothing and caused god knows what stress on my wee bub. I picked up my scans and went to the doctors and she is all happy with everything and has even given me my referral to start antinaetal(sp?) care at the hospital in 5 weeks, all going well.

So there you go. Now I just need to make it through this naesea and I will be fine. But with every stomach turn and gag I do, I know it has to be a good thing and just smile to myself.

I'm Sick!!

2006-03-24T09:08:00.000+08:00

Well I am certainly in the throes of my first trimester now. I am constantly nauseus and just want to sleep, although when I get into bed I toss and turn.

When it comes to food I am finding it hard to eat. Have been eating toast with vegemite every morning for breakfast but this morning I got up and as I started eating my first piece, discovered that I no longer like it as it made me want to throw up.

I can't stomach diet coke any more, am now drinking either orange juice, water or lemon fizzy drink.

But it all has to be good, right? I definately wasn't this ill with the last pregnancy although I was with Bethany.

Have had a pretty stressful week. Monday night I discovered, (if I gross you out I'm sorry) not spotting, but a brownish jelly. This kept up and increased right till Wednesday morning when I decided I had enough of panicking and made an excuse, left work and drove myself into the emergency ward at the big women's hospital here. After an hour they took my blood and told me it would be an hour till we got the results. I had an examination and was told there was no sign of what I described and no blood. So I sat and weighted for the results. The hour passed with nothing. Another hour passed so I got up and said I was just going to the loo (just incase they had forgotten about me) The doctor said that someone was coming to see me and could I just wait a few more minutes. 20 minutes later a different lady came in and told me that she was going to do an ultrasound. Now I really started to worry that my Hcg levels weren't good. She did the ultrasound and said that it was the size of a 6 week old but she wanted to do an internal scan (sorry). So I emptied my bladder and had it done. I saw my bubby and its little heart beating away. I felt so relieved. I asked what my levels were and I was told that they were above 10000 and that's all that mattered. I was a little worried as to why they wouldn't give me the exact reading but was told everything was fine and I could go.

And the funny thing, the whole time I was there I didn't have any more discharge. And I didn't have any yesterday until about 7pm when it decided to start again!

So we are still going to do my scan today for a couple of reasons. 1, Pete didn't get to see the one I had on Wednesday and 2, I want to make sure that things are still OK considering I am losing stuff again. We have decided to leave Bethany with mum as I don't want to confuse her if things go wrong again.

Sorry for the totally pregnancy related entry but just thought I would let you all know what is going on. Will update tonight with the results of this arvos scan.

5 Sleeps to go

2006-03-20T09:03:00.000+08:00

Am so sorry for the absence and if I have worried anyone, have just taken some time out to try and focus.

It is 5 sleeps now till I have my scan and although I said I was going to relax, I am starting to stress and worry a little.

I mean I still have all good signs, really sore boobs, constant nausea (still no throwing up yet but have been close to it a couple of times), poor sleeping, lots of trips to the loo and the constant fidgeting I get when I am pregnant. This is about 95% more symptoms than I had last time but still I can't help but continually think about Friday afternoon.

We have now told our parents and my brother over in Sydney (he is feeling very lonely and depressed over there so he is coming home next week) and Pete's cousin Becky knows too as she is my best friend (she has 4 weeks to go till her bub arrives).

I started feeling so ill that I stopped walking about Wednesday last week and have felt even more rotten since so must start doing that again, as it did make me feel good when I went, I just didn't want to risk having to throw up as I was walking but the feeling isn't easing up at all so must move on.

Went to my gym last week and told them what is going on and they said that if I feel I can't use my membership while I am pregnant, I can pay $5.50 and have it frozen for six months. Then I can come back and have it frozen for another 3 months and then I can start using it again and have almost my full 12 months after the baby is born, so am looking at doing that today.

Foodwise, am having problems at the moment. Trying to eat as best I can but there are days like last night where I couldn't even stomach the thought of eating tea. So I have changed from just taking my folate pills, to taking a supplement which has my full daily dose of folate plus other vitamins and omega 3 and other things vital for bubby that I might not be supplying. They are expensive $21 a month but worth it as far as I'm concerned.

This is my last week working full time. I tell you I did it last week and I was exhausted by Wednesday. It's not just the working but running around getting Bethany to school, shopping, cleaning and cooking on top. I can't wait till this week is over and I go back to part time, although I am dreading telling my boss about my condition. When they told me that she was expecting in August, they wanted me to take over full time while she was gone. I did say that I wouldn't be able to do it as Bethany would still be at school but I said maybe they could get another part timer and we could share the job. Now they are going to have to get someone in August to work part time and a part timer for me when I go or someone to start part time in August and become full time when I leave. I know it's their problem, not mine, but they won't be happy about it.

OK enough dribble from me today. I just had to get all these thoughts out in the open. Here's looking forward to a good week and an outstanding Friday (fingers crossed).

Interesting

2006-03-13T10:44:00.000+08:00

Well, firstly sorry for the long absence but things have happened that have thrown my grand plan into turmoil.

Tuesday I did manage to get to the gym and do an awesome 30 mins, first 10 on treadmill, 10 on cycle, 10 on crosstrainer.

Wednesday, felt terrible. Not from my workout, just ill. Still no sign of TOM(was now late) so took a test and it was positive.

That's right, here we go again, I'm pregnant!

Was not going to post the news yet, hence the long absence, but just want to let you all know. If Pete's mum is reading this, please, PLEASE, don't say anything yet. Pete wants to tell you but he wants to wait so keep it a secret.

So just as I had sat down, mentally prepared myself for weightloss and joined a gym, I got pregnant. Typical, as Karen said, "Murphy's Law".

Went to the doctors on Thursday and had it all confirmed. I currently have low blood pressure (explains the dizziness I keep getting) and have booked for my scan on Friday 24/3, the day before Karen.

So Thursday night I went for a gentle, slow 30min walk around the block. It felt so odd to be going so slow after my workout on Tuesday, but I just want to take it easy while my pressure is like this and until I know everything is OK. Have been feeling quite nauseas and such so eating hasn't been the best. Last night was still feeling yuck so went for a walk and came home feeling better so must keep that up, don't want my fitness to drop.

Weighed this morning and was delighted with a 500g gain, considering what I have eaten the last few days. Now I am looking at battling the sickness the healthiest way I can and continue exercising, just lightly. Even if I go to the gym and use the treadmill on low for 30mins, I am not wasting my membership!

So now that is 3 of us that miscarried last year who are due within 6 days of each other, Carla on the 8th, Karen on the 11th and me on the 14th, spooky hey?

At the moment, I am trying not to think about last time. I am aiming to relax, not stress and just go with the flow. My mind is forbidden to wander. Even when my symptoms ease off for a day, I just think, there is a reason for it. Although I did say to the doctor I can't wait to start throwing up, then I will know everything is OK, that's a bit of a worry, wanting to throw up. But at the moment I have been sicker and sorer than last time, so that has to be a good thing too, right?

See, now my mind is wandering again, naughty, naughty.

Well, that's about it for now, just thought I would let you know that weightloss is on hold, again, and once again I have had to pull out of poor Paulene's challenge. You must get sick of me starting and stopping!

Until later
Bye

I did it, I did it, I did it!!!!

2006-03-05T14:43:00.000+08:00

Well where to start?

Thursday I got ready for action. I hopped on the computer and joined the biggest loser club on their website, I'm going to need as much inspiration as possible (although I still can't stand most of the blue team, Cat and Fiona seem like the only nice ones.)

Then I rang the gym that Kelly won her free membership at. They told me the voucher was worth $100 so I could use it for a month membership or as a discount on a larger membership but I could decide when I came in. I made an appointment for 9.30am Friday, after Bethany was at school.

Ok. woke up Friday raring and ready to go. Weighed in at 80.3kg, a 1.7kg gain but I was expecting much worse.

Took Bethany to school, then headed to the gym. Was told if I used the voucher as a discount on a 12month membership, I would have to pay four weeks in advance and then $13.80 a week. She gave me some time to think about it and I did. I considered that previously I have been thinking about going casual at a gym twice a week at over $15 a week. I thought that we are currently refinance and getting rid of all credit cards and into a better financial position. I thought that Peter would get stroppy because last time I mentioned joining Curves he said "but I want to go to a gym too" and then I finally thought that every week he spends at least $15 or sometimes evenmore on buying food while at work. And I thought if he can do that, I can do this.

So I joined for a year. I finally did it. I am now a member of a gym!

She got me all signed up and booked me in for my first appraisal in a week and a half (had to organise around work and stuff). When she was finished I asked if I could just go in and use some machines. So I started on the cross trainer. Never used one of them before. I set it for 5 minutes and was quite surprised at how easy it was, so did another 5mins. Then I went to the layback cycles and did 10mins. That killed me. As I was about 7 mins through I thought, I go after this. But when I finished I thought, no, keep going, so I went back to the cross trainer (all the treadmills were being used), set it on a lower level and did 10mins to cool down. When it came up with the 2mins to go, I felt so good that I had kept going.

I can't wait to go again but because we have a long weekend that won't be till Tuesday.

I watched what I ate Friday and up until dinner had 9.5 points. But then we had ravioli in bolognaise sauce with garlic bread. I had already planned to have it at the beginning of the week so I figured first day of the week would be best to get it over and done with.

Then I went for a 30min walk. 2 lots of exercise in 1 day OMG!

Yesterday went well too. Had 20 points in total and also a 30min walk. I thought I would wake up aching yesterday after my first go at gym but was surprisingly OK. The walk yesterday almost killed me. I didn't go till after 7pm. It was almost dark and still 30degrees outside. We are in the middle of a heat wave and it was 38 yesterday, 38 today, 36 tomorrow and Tuesday. But back to my walk, it was hot, I sweated heaps and felt great once I finished.

Today has been OK. have had 9.5points so far and am having a roast (yes in this heat) for tea. I cook it in the oven with no added fat, just in its own juices so it is as low fat as I can get. Having that with vegies so should be around 6 points. Then I can have a lemonade icy pole or jelly or lite choc mousse for 1 point. And last snack of the day I have found a box of lite microwave popcorn with 5 small individual satchels. I satchel popped is worth 1.5 points. Whatever I have, I can't see myself going over 20 and I am also going for a late walk again tonight.

So hear I am. In day 3 and managing OK so far. Fingers crossed it keeps going that way. TOM is due on Tuesday (the same day I want to go to gym) so lets hope it holds off till after I have been.

Facing facts

2006-03-01T08:23:00.000+08:00

I sat down with myself yesterday and made myself face some facts.

I have admitted to myself that the reason my weightloss isn't succeeding is due to the fact that I am trying to get pregnant.

There is a lot of factors I have realised that are floating around in the back of my mind:

I was 94kg when I got pregnant first try with Bethany but now I am smaller I am having problems, maybe I am sabotaging myself thinking that if I stay big, it will work.
I am set in a vicious cycle. I get TOM and work hard for 2 weeks losing weight, then I try to conceive and take it easy for a week, not wanting anything to stop it from working and then I take it easy for the next week just incase I am pregnant, not wanting to do anything wrong and then it starts all over again.
When it turns out I am not pregnant I hurts and I use food.

And that is just about the jist of it. So now it is time to relax, stop stressing (mum told me yesterday that stress won't help trying to conceive either) and just get on with it.

So today I got up and did a gentle 25 situps and 12 minutes on the stepper(Bethany woke up and stopped me from doing any more). I will trying and do another 18 mins when I get home and a 30min walk tonight.

I was actually quite surprised at how much I enjoyed doing the stepper. I did 10mins on Sunday and managed 554 steps. This morning in 10 mins I did 635 and in the whole 12 minutes I did 804. I was disappointed when Bethany woke up because I felt like I could do more.

I am also hoping to join a gym in the next couple of days. Kelly won a free trial membership at a gym but doesn't want it so she has given it to me. So I am going to find out what it includes and try to use it instead. Even if it just lets me use like a cross trainer and exercise bike, that's all I'm really looking for right now, just to get back into it. So fingers crossed I can use it.

Well that's enough confession for today. Looking forward to a good day and better days to come.

Lost focus

2006-02-26T19:00:00.000+08:00

Ok, Ok, here I am again and I failed.

I completely lost focus last week. I haven't done a scrap of exercise and my eating has been disgusting. I felt so terrible that I contemplated, not only giving up Paulene's challenge, but everything.

But I have since read Paulene's journal for last week and seen that she is sick of sitting in her plateu also. Then I got to thinking, people have been through worse than me and continued, what sort of person would I be to give up so easily.

So here I am, plodding along still.

I am going to spend the rest of this week trying to recondition my body, get my energy back and get used to eating properly and doing some gentle exercise. Then as of Friday, it's kick arse time!

I have had a little boost to the confidence though. Just a small one.

When we took Bethany to Adventure World, we went to the kiddies cove section. Last time we went there was just before I started trying to loose weight. I felt miserable because Peter had to take her on everything because I was too big.

But this time I could! I only just fit into the seat but I did it. That did make me feel a little better. I realised that if I have given up all the other times I had failed, I wouldn't be able to do it at all.

So here I am, swallowing my pride and ready to start again. I know my weighin this week won't be crash hot, but I am going to do it nonetheless.

Finally, here is another gorgeous photo from our day out.

I hope you can all bear with me while I get my bearings. I promise to try harder.

Pretty sick

2006-02-22T16:30:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the big absence but have not had the best of weeks.

Last I updated was Friday so lets see...

I hadn't told you but since Wednesday I have been adding jogging to my walking. I started Wednesday and then after reading Paulene's journal, started timing my jogging compared to my walking. So Thursday I jogged about 3.5mins and walked 26.5. Friday I jogged 4 mins and walked 26 and then Saturday I jogged 4.5 and walked 25.5 but during this workout Saturday I jarred my left ankle. Must be from not being used to the jogging. So I sat Sunday out.

Monday was first day of holidays so basically relaxed at home, took Bethany to kindy and then decided to go see Pete's parent's after she had finished kindy. While there I got terrible allergies (think both Bethany and I are allergic to their new kitten) Came home about 8pm feeling totally like crap and collapsed on the lounge. About 9pm got these terrible tummy cramps and went rushing to the loo with really bad diarrohea. This continued until midnight. Then in the morning I got up and just nibbled on a couple of pieces of toast. But it started again and finished about 11am. Didn't really have much energy to do anything yesterday so I didn't. Today got up and had it again! Considering it's only me who has it, think I might have a bit of food poisoning from some leftover roast only I had on Monday for lunch.

So you'd think my weight would be down this week with very little in my stomach. But unfortunately, because I have had terrible hunger pains and cramps have eaten a lot of bad food (chocolate and takeaway included) so it is actually up.

Am undecided as to whether to weighin this week. I still don't have a lot of energy and am still getting shocking pains and wind. Haven't really had a great week as you can see and I only have like 24hours or so to do anything so am thinking about passing. I have only done this once or twice during the 2 odd years I have been losing weight so I think I can be excused this one time.

Am off to catch up with everyone else's journals now (if I can stay upright much longer). Geez I feel like crap.

Catchup again soon

A little annoyed

2006-02-17T12:57:00.000+08:00

Time to record my weekly weighin but first I want to have a little vent over something I saw last night that has annoyed me a bit.

I, like many other people I know, have been watching Australia's Biggest Loser that started on Monday night. I watched the first 2 series and loved them. But last night something happened that upset me and has really annoyed me. Last night was challenge night and the blue team beat the red team and chose to go eat instead of exercising. While watching the losing red team exercise Artie(150 odd kilos worth) leaned over, looked out the window and stated "look its a beached whale, oh wait that's just the red team"

This comment tore at the heart of me. I have had that comment said to me on more than one occasion and I was only 100kg. I am now less than half of that man's weight and I would never, ever say that to any large person. What sort of a man does he think he is? What right does he have to even think that about anyone.

Now I think about it, it has actually quite upset me that someone like this is one the show. After a comment like that I feel he really doesn't deserve to be there. But hey, that's just me. He might be a really nice person but after that comment I really wouldn't like to know any more about him.

Sorry to complain, just how it made me feel. One day we were at the pool with Bethany when a large lady walked past. Now she was very big, her stomach hung down through the leg openings of her bathers and my tiny daughter called her "fat". I didn't even know she knew what the word meant, then I realised that I always say it about myself. So I sat her down, told her it wasn't nice to call people or yourself names like that and it wasn't the lady's fault she was bigger than other people. It was the only thing I could think of to say. Just goes to show that even at an early age, the smallest comment can impact a child's life.

Now to weigh in. Happy with another loss, although not as much as I was hoping. I momentary lapse on Wednesday of KFC may have helped that, but still 400g is better than nothing. Am now 78.6kg. If I can somehow manage 1.1kg this week, it will mean 3.5kg in 7 weeks which works out to 500g a week, which isn't bad.

Now being weighin day, it is also free day today. However I started with a 30min walk this morning (back from Bethany's school) a 2 point breakfast. Am now to have lunch, stirfry for tea and another 30min walk tonight. The only bad thing I am planning on is the licorice I have had saved for today. Usually I can eat a whole bag of it. But I started keenly this morning and after half a bag I feel sick so have thrown it out. Not too bad for a free day. Will update total points later.

I know I have dragged on today but I have one last thing to tell you. This morning while I was at the shops, mum and I went into a clothes shop. She was buying some stuff and headed to the checkout and I followed her. As she did, an attendant walked past with this really pretty pink floral dress. I went to have a look at it and it wasn't my size. Behind it was a blue one in size 14 so I tried it on. It was amazing. It was halter neck, with a scalf kind of skirt and a ruffle kind of panel to hide my tummy. Mum came in and said it looked great so I have stuck it on layby. (can't really afford it but I have to have it) It has been 6 years since I last wore a dress and that was a maternity one. I just wish I took a photo with my phone in the change room.

So now I have an incentive to keep going, so the dress still fits when I pick it up. I can't wait.

Settling in

2006-02-15T10:09:00.000+08:00

Well here I am, settling in to my new space. Seems that by making this move I have lost a lot of my old readers which is a little upsetting but I am not giving up. I will continue this blog even if no one reads it.

So now to catch up with everything else. My weighin on Friday saw me back down to 79kg (again!!!), a loss of 1kg. Monday I had 16 points out of 20 with a 30min walk. Yesterday I had 18 points and another 30 minute walk. I am hoping that this week will see me get below the 78.6kg I got to a few weeks ago. If that happens it will mean I have lost at least 2.5kg in 6 weeks, which isn't exactly awesome, but hey its better than a gain.

My boss went for her 12 week ultrasound last Thursday. Everything seems good and she is now past the stage where she had her miscarriage last time so I am happy for her and hope things continue to go well.

She must have been worried senseless these last few weeks. I know that when I get pregnant again (if it ever happens!) I probably will be. It will be a hard decision whether to tell anyone before the 12 weeks or not. I'd be scared of doing the wrong thing (I know I didn't cause my m/c but still). Pretty stressful to think about but hey lets not stress ourselves before we even get there.

Other than that, it's been a pretty quiet week so far. On Friday I am on my own while Bethany is at school. I am thinking about taking her by bus like mum does on Thurdays but then walking the 1.4kg home after I drop her off, just for some extra exercise. It should take between 15-20 minutes to do and then I will still have 2 hours to myself. OMG what am I going to do with 2 hours to myself!

Then next week, Peter and I have taken a week holiday from work, nothing planned, just need a break from work, so am hoping to get some extra exercise done then to, maybe an extra walk every second day or something.

Am looking to loose some good weight over the next week and a half so fingers crossed.

Reassessing

2006-02-13T08:56:00.000+08:00

Hi guys

Sorry for the big upheaval. For those of you new to my blog, I have had a different blog running for quite some time (see link on the left if you would like to catch up) but have had to relocate and go semi annonymous due to someone close to me using my blog in day to day life.

I started blogging 2 years ago after reading a fellow slimmers blog. I thought that considering I don't actually go to weight watchers or have a good, stable support group close to me that I would go online. My blog has always given me a place to vent my feelings, get advice, laugh and cry with others who are going through the same issues as me.

But lately, I have had to watch what I type, limit my comments and cut off a lot of what I am going through so as not to upset others.

So I made the decision to start a fresh. I have kept a link to my old pages so new readers can actually find out who I am and where I am coming from. BUT on my old blog, I have taken off all links to me. I have removed my tagboard, links to all my online buddies so when they update their links to me I can't be traced and on other pages like my photos page, I have removed links to my blog. I know this all seems a bit cloak and dagger but it was the only thing I could think of to get my freedom back.

And finally, I am using a silly little name from a cute cartoon character as my alias. This was the final step I had to take because unfortunately, using my name could still find me on a search engine.

So here I am, being all honest and true by hiding with a fake name. A bit silly don't ya think?

I hope all of my old friends find me with no problems, I would hate to lose any of my buddies by making this move but it was something that had to be done.

Starting again

2006-02-11T17:35:00.000+08:00

Well here I am, starting yet another new blog, through no choice of my own.

This is just a quick entry to let you know that I am up and running and will do a full update within the next 24 hours.

Hope you all find me with no problems.